Organizing "Mundan / Jaaval"

We had Srushtee's head tonsured (Mundan, Mottai, Jaaval) as is the custom, on the 21st of Jan '07.
This involved arrangements at different levels.
1. Organize the babrber: I asked around and found out from Mom's who had already got their babies head shaved once and got information about "Good barbers." The next step was to arrange with the barber the date and time and then arrange for him to come home for the ceremony.

2. Inviteees: My Mother-In-Law said that Srushtee would have to sit in her Mama's (Maternal Uncle's) Lap. He would cut a small lock of hair and then the barber could take over. After the barber was done, Sruhtee would again be required to sit in her Mama's lap and have laddoos and chocolates showered on her. So Srushtee's Mama's were the primary invitees. Then of course I wanted her grandparents (both sets) to be there for the special event and also her Aunt (Chitti, Maushi). We invited a couple of the neighbours as well.

3. Gifts: It is customary to gift the Mama's something so I put together a hamper for them. The next was the token to the barber. It is customary to give hime some uncooked rice, dal, a few potatos and a shirt peice. All the kids who come should get some chocolates!

4. Menu: Depending on what time you have this ceremony, you would want to offer your gusts something to eat. Srushtee's Jaaval was late in the afternoon, so we had an evening snack of missal, pasta, Apple Pie and Strawberries.

As you can see there is a quite a bit of shopping and co-ordination required here! I thought it was going to be very simple and quick until I actually started to list out things to be done!

Hope this helps you.

How to post your comments here

I just realized that many of you may not be familiar with blog formats. I just thought I'd run you through the process of sharing your thoughts on the site itself.

Just below my post (content or article in non-blog terminology), there is a button which says comments in a small font. It may have a number before the word indicating the number of comments that have been posted for that post for eg. it may read 0 comments .

Click on the word comments. A window will open up and you can type out your comment there. Once your comment is complete, you can click on the "preview" button and see how your comment will look. You can choose to modify it at this stage. Or you can directly click on the "Publish your comment" and have your comment on the blog instantaneously.

It helps to have comments on the blog itself instead of on my personal e-mail Id. On the blog, everyone who visits the blog can benefit from what you share. Besides, it feels nice to have others participate in the blog!

Do post your comments!

How to reduce the Frequency of Feeds at Night

Hi!
I had a problem and asked a couple of my friends and relatives for advice. I'm reprducing all of it here so we all benefit from it!

Me
Hi!
I need advice.
Srushtee is 13 months old now. So far, if she'd had a good dinner, she would sleep for 4-5 hours at a stretch and then ask for my feed maybe every 2hours or so. I'd get enough sleep that way and things were fine.
Of late, even if she's had a good dinner, she wakes up every one hour for a feed. Then, somewhere between 3 and 5a.m., she wants to feed continuously for about an hour or so before she sleeps for the next two hours. I am unable to get enough sleep this way.
Did any of you face this kind of a situation? What did you do to come out of it? Is this a phase that will pass by itself? How long did this phase last in your kids?
All your experience will greatly help. I really need help!
Love,
Sonu.

Niharika
hi!
this seems like a growth spurt. the metabolic activities increase making
them more hungry and demanding. also she maybe playing more between her
sleep and meal, thus digesting the meal sooner.
one way is to put her on bottle feed, it works. once she is into her sleep
for an hour or so, offer her about 6 ounces of milk (plain or junior
horlicks).
put her to sleep in diapers because winter can make her pass urine often and
disturb her sleep, for which she needs to feed on you for longer hours to
pacify herself.
hope this helps.
take care,
love,
niha.
(Niharika Tiwari is a dear friend and a mother of two wonderful children! Her younger daughter is around 15 months old.)

Jayashree
Are you still breast feeding her? I had this exact same problem. My
pediatrician advised me to stop/wean her away. It took a couple of months,
but things settled down. She was 15 months old at the time.
Love,
Jayu
(Jayashree Chava is my aunt. Her daughter is around 22 years old. So this advice stems from EXPERIENCE)


Frian
i noticed that khushru wanted to feed a lot when he had growth spurts, so see if she does it for a week or so n then stops. maybe she is just going thru a growth spurt!

Otherwise she is probably just growing up n breast milk is not enough for her. usually after a year kids need something more substantial n filling, n invariably breast milk is too light by then. i know that breast milk is best but by the time baby is a year it is not sufficient by itself. I had the same problem with Khushi n i used to give him a tin of custard in the night when he first woke up n he started sleeping better n longer.

Try increasing her solid intake in the evenings with maybe a good snack before dinner.

Also she is probably comfort feeding more than anything else. I breast fed Khushi till 15 months but it was more just a comfort n bonding thing rather than nutrition food. You need to introduce regular milk or formula soon as it would be more filling n just breast feed 2 or 3 times a day, or completely stop it. The problem with Khush was he didn't want to take any other milk once i weened him off n till today he doesn't drink any milk. So I supplement his calcium intake with lots of custard n cheese. Besides he knew I was trying to ween him off n he would keep demanding more feeds as a comfort thing. See what works best for u.

Just another thing..... check out if she has worms by any chance. That might also explain the increase in appetite.

good luck n take care. will catch up another time, been real busy with 2!!

love
Friu.
(Frian Patel works with children! Also, She has just delivered her second baby boy just about a month ago and still took the time to help me out. Friends truly are God's gift to us!)


I hope to receive more advice from other Mom's I'd asked for help. I'll post it here as I receive it! I'll also try out all of it and tell you what worked best for me right here!

Until then, take care and do share your experiences here with us!

My Parents are Ageing. Help!

Suddenly, after Srushtee's birth, I seem to have become acutely aware of the fact that my parents are ageing.

My parents had kids pretty late, so my Mum is due to retire from her job in March '07. She has Osteoarthritis. Sometimes, she complains of leg pain, my Dad has varicose veins and also has leg pain. They also feel out of sorts for various reasons with increasing frequency.

When Srushtee is around, they will insist on carrying her and cuddling her and pampering her, but nowadays, they also tire quickly and need to frequently hand her back to me so they can take a breather.

It is unsettling. It is not a nice idea to think they are growing old. Somwhere in my mind was a firm belief that they will always be there for me when I need them. This is a belief that has been reinforced many times over during my life and especially after I got married.

Suddenly now, this belief seems to be developing microscopic fissures.

I suppose all of us know that someday our parents will need us to take care of them instead of the other way around.

I also feel that whenever that day comes, I want to be able to take such good care of them, that they feel luxuriously comfortable and feel proud of me.

All the same, I still feel like running away from that eventuality forever.

How's that for an example of emotions and rationale being at cross purposes?

Striking a balance?

Well,
Srushtee's First Birthday is done. She's walking around. She's eating outside food.

All the people around me - My in-laws, my parents, my sister and my husband have settled into a daily routine that pretty much resembles what they had before Srushtee happened.

I get into work 5 days a week. I have Srushtee with me in the office in the mornings, and in the afternoon, I am supposed to leave her with my Mum and come in to get some serious work done.

I can't.

I am unable to bring myself to leave her. I have a whole lot of excuses - Srushtee wasn't feeling well, my Mum needs her afternoon rest, there isn't anything that I can't do the next morning ... - but that is just what they are:Excuses.

If I am very honest with myself,
I think I'm feeling subconsciously guilty at having to leave her in someone else's care. Am I palming off my responsibilities on someone else?
Will she develop some deep rooted insecurties which will surface as psychological quirks in later life?
Am I insisting on working for the purely selfish and egotistical motive of not having to ask my husband for money?
Should I be giving up my job completely and devoting my entire time to her? Am I just afraid of not having a "Job"?

I have yet to sort these issues out for myself.

In the meantime, I have this feeling that I am going nowhere, that I am running hard to just stay in the same place.

I know that Srushtee will grow up eventually and probably will not want me around in some phases of her life, but unitl then what balance can I strike in my own life?

I Feel...

When my baby was born, the first few days were a blur. I was in a trance of sorts, maybe because I'd had a Cesarean and maybe not.

I was just emotionally drained and not retaining much. I was experiencing what was going on around me only vaguely and my memories of the time are of the same intensity as of a movie watched while walking in and out of the room doing other things. Some bits do stand out clearer than the others, but that's that.

Slowly, I started beginning to be more conscious and one of the first things that happened was that I was horrified with my body. I had lost the lovely curve of pregnancy and was just loose and floppy and lumpy now. Added to that I had this really ugly scar from my surgery.

I got so dejected that I hated looking at myself in the mirror or even when I bathed. I wore clothes without being conscious of what I was wearing but being painfully aware that I was shabby. Added to this, my baby would urinate and my clothes would have urine on them. I was down enough to feel low about this and stay in the same clothes anyway and feel more miserable.

Slowly, as my energy levels came up, I started making a more conscious effort to change my clothes more often. Slowly I even started taking an interest in what I was picking out to wear. Eventually, I regained enough control of myself to make that all-important trip to the physio therapist and with her exercises, I lost weight. I started gathering up courage and trying on my pre-pregnancy clothes. When one by one, they started to fit again, I was overjoyed!

I wish I could say that from then on things were great. The truth is a little more time consuming. I slowly began picking up the strings of my existence and turning them slowly into a semblance of my life.

Even today, when my baby is 15 months old, I'm trying hard to get to where I want to be as opposed to where I am, but the BIG thing is that I have accepted certain things that help me feel better about myself.
1. I do not control everything.
2. I can decide what I want my life to be like.
3. I can adjust this picture and my perspectives depending on what I can and cannot control.
4. Sometimes, the only thing you can do, is to give yourself up to your faith in God or whatever else you believe in and accept the outcome.
5. Stress relieving techniques that suit you are worth finding.
6. There's nothing like taking some time out whenever you can to just be with yourself doing something exclusively for you - not your husband or your baby - just you.
7. When you feel you are ready for it, take time to be away from your baby. Start with small gaps so you don't feel guilty and then build up.
8. Pay attention to what you wear and how you look. It helps you to feel better about yourself.
9. Money worries never go away. Learn how best to live with them. Develop your own coping mechanism.

Hope this helps all of you who are feeling the same way to realize that things will get better and soon!

Avoid Sickness

Avoid sickness.
When visiting Friends and relatives, do not hesistate to call and ask if anyone has a cold, sore throat or fever before visiting.
You can then decide whether or not to take the baby there. The last thing you want to take home from someone else's home are their illnesses in your baby.
I personally give my baby a tiny dose of Vitamin C (Cecon Drops) and/ or homeopathic pills (Easident) that help boost immunity whenever I go out in the midst of a crowd where I cannot control to whom she will be exposed (eg. large family gatherings, weddings).

Bathing your baby

Our tradition decrees a set routine for a baby's bath: Massage, Bath and after bath care.

Massage
The main idea is to oil the baby's skin (moisturising) and stimulate it. You have to be careful not to harm the baby's tender body in the process.
It's a good idea to allow someone who is experienced at massaging babies to massage your baby for a few days. You can watch them and decide what elements of their method you would like to retain and discard.
Once you are comfortable with your own body's healing post delivery, you can take over the massage. This helps you to have a lot of skin contact with your baby and increases bonding.

Oil
Your pediatrician may suggest you do not use any oil on the baby's skin initially. It's your call on whether you want to follow his/her advice.I personally used Johnson's baby oil for the first few days. Then my baby developed a rash and I tried out olive oil, til oil and finally settled down at coconut oil. I generally added a couple of drops of Almond (badam) oil to the coconut oil and then applied it to the baby's skin and head.
It is kind to use lukewarm oil on the baby's skin, so it is best to heat the oil for a few seconds before use. Test the temperature of the oil on the back of your palm before you apply it to your baby's tender skin.

Soap Or...
Once the baby is massaged, he is ready for a bath.

Never use cold water on new born babies. They are used to the warmth of the womb and it is necessary to bathe them in warm water to make the bath as pleasant as possible for them.
As always, test the temperature of the water on the back of your palm before you apply it to your baby's tender skin. The water should be warm but not hot. You should be able to pour an entire mug of it on the back of your palm without feeling in the least bit uncomfortable.

The hospital where you deliver will have it's own suggestion about what soap to use for your baby in the initial few days. It's a good idea to continue to use the same soap for the baby until a week after the umbilical cord has fallen off.When you feel the umbilical cord area has completely dried and healed, you can start using other traditional bathing methods.

For the first 2 months, I used a mixture of Turmeric (Haldi) powder and Mung Dal (Green Gram) Flour mixed in milk cream instead of soap for my baby.

From then on, I used a mixture of Turmeric (Haldi) powder, Chana Dal Flour (Besan), milk cream & rose water mixed to the consistency of thick cake batter.

Oil the baby as usual, then apply this paste evenly on the entire body and face and wash off with water. There is no need to use soap.

From the 8th month onwards, I started using almond (badam) and sandalwood (chandan) paste. After the massage, I apply this paste on the baby's skin and leave it on for a minute or two. Then I bathe the baby with the Chana dal, turmeric etc. mixture mentioned above.

Not using soap makes me feel that I am not subjecting my baby's skin to an onslaught of complex chemicals. Besides, Turmeric, Milk Cream, Rose water, Besan, all have properties that contribute to good complexions.

When the whole world is turning to Ayurveda and people are paying BIG money to get treated at spas, start early with your baby at home!!

All your suggestions are welcome. If you have any opinions, feedback, do post them here.

Travelling with Baby

In our culture, elders generally recommend that children be taken out of the house only after they are 45 days old.

If you think about it, there may be some logical sense in it.

Babies below 45 days old may not have the immunity it takes to face the great outdoors before that especially in a tropical country like India.However, visits to the pediatrician may be necessary long before this.

The first few times I decided to take my baby out, I was at a complete loss of what and how much to take along.

Here's a general list that might help you.

Babies less than three months old generally pass urine about every 25 minutes or so.
Anticipate a wait of about two hours at the pediatrician and take along 4 nappies and 4 swaddling cloths.

Babies above three months old can wear nappy pads and then progress to diapers when they are about 6 months old.
Just carry one spare underwear and one spare nappy pad / diaper then.

Babies older than 6 months would have started eating outside food. So if you plan to be out at a feed time, you will also have to carry some food for your baby.

Trips for a couple of hours:
Nappies & Swaddling Cloths / Underwear & Nappy Pads / Diapers
Baby Wipes
Baby's water
Baby's food
Bib
Baby's cap
Baby's socks / footwear
Insect repellent
Baby's toy/s

Trips for a couple of days:
Baby's clothes
Nappies / underwear & nappy pads / diapers
Swaddling cloths / Spread cloths
Baby's cap
Baby's socks / footwear
T-shirts, Shorts, Skirts, Frocks, Jump suits etc.
Full sleeved long legged nightwear
Baby's bibs.
Baby Wipes
Baby's water
Baby's food
Baby's bottles, bowls, dishes, spoons
Insect repellent
Babies daily medication, Crocin and other first aid recommended by your pediatrician
Baby's toy/s
Rubber / Plastic sheets and their covers
Kangaroo Bag / Baby basket
Lots of tissues

As ususal, I may have overlooked something and it would be great if you could add it and share it!!

How to Deal With Crying Babies

How to Deal With Crying Babies

In the first few months of her life, my baby cried a lot. I received a lot of advice from helpful friends and family on how to deal with my crying baby. I tried out most of it at different points in time. I am listing here what worked for me.You may have to try a couple of remedies at a time before you arrive at a solution that works at that particular time. Don't be afraid to try things out. Always remember your instincts are your best guides.

Check Nappy
One of the most common reasons for babies feeling uncomfortable is a soiled nappy. Check and change the nappy if necessary. While checking, see if there is any redness, soreness, or blisters in the baby's nappy area. These can appear very fast, so you can check every time. If there is a rash, any soothing, mild, moisturizer will help for the moment. Then consult your pediatrician.

Check if hungry
In the initial months, babies are normally willing to drink milk and quieten down quite readily unless something is very wrong or they are very full. Just try breastfeeding the child and it may solve the problem!

Check if sleepy
Use your usual sleep inducing methods - rocking, feeding, shushing, darkening the room etc. If your child is very tired and sleepy, they may cry and be very irritable.

Check if too hot or too cold
Touch your baby's feet, hands and tummy. If they are cold, your baby is feeling cold and needs to be warmed up. Hug and cuddle the baby a little and put on warmer clothes.
It could also be that your child is feeling too hot. Check for any sweating or simply try colling the baby. Take off a couple of layers of clothing. Switch on the fan / Air conditioner.Ideal baby temperatures are between 24 and 26 degrees Centigrade.

Rock in cradle
Sometimes, just putting your baby in a cradle and rocking her will calm her down. She may even drift off to sleep!

Rock in arms
Carry your crying baby in your arms and gently rock him. It might help if you make wooshing / humming sounds / say om.
Babies are sensitive to moods. If you are tense or high strung, you will find your baby is also irritable and will not sleep easily. Make sure you take a couple of deep breaths, calm yourself and make soothing sounds to the baby.
Shushing and wooshing sounds resemble the sounds the baby would have heard while in the womb and are therefore comforting. Humming sounds and Om create reverberations which also help to calm the baby.
Holding the baby close to your heart so he can hear your rhythmic heartbeat is reassuring to them.

Check for insects on clothes
Sometimes, insects may get into your babies clothes without your realizing it. Remove your babies clothes and check in the various folds of skin to see if an insect is troubling your baby. Ants like to hide in babies hair so make sure you check your babies head as well. Make sure your baby doesn't smell of milk cream or any other food to prevent insect bites.

Try all colic remedies
Try all the colic remedies I have posted earlier.

Remember, your instinct is your best guide. You may have to run through a lot of these methods before you arrive at a solution that calms your baby down at that particular time. The same remedy may not work every time.

Be calm and feel free to experiment within reasonable limits.

If you come up with a new method, do post it here so we all share it!!

How I dealt with Colic

My baby was Colicky!!She would cry for apparently no reason and for quite a while at a time.

The Doctor prescribed some colic medicines, but they had a limited effect. Nevertheless, I kept giving them to her as prescribed.

We did try (and seemed to benefit from) some home remedies.

1. Take a pinch of asafoetida powder (Hing) in a teaspoon. Add a couple of drops of lukewarm / room temperature water and create a paste. Apply this on the baby's abdomen around the belly button without touching the stub of the umbilical cord or allowing any of the paste to get into the baby's belly button.

2. Take a Paan leaf (betel leaf) and apply a layer of castor oil on it. Heat the leaf by holding above an open flame. Test the temperature of the leaf on the back of your palm and if okay, apply the leaf on the baby's abdomen with the castor oil side touching the baby's skin. You can repeat this process with the same leaf every 3-4 minutes till the leaf changes colour.

3. There's a herb called Vesambu in tamil, Bach in Hindi, Vaj in Marathi and Acorus in English. It looks like a thick twig. Hold this above an open flame till it gets blackened. wait for it to cool. Rub your finger on the blackened part so some of it comes onto your finger. Put this on the baby's tongue.

4. Take a fist full of Ajwain/Omum/Ova seeds. Wrap them in a cloth and heat them in the microwave oven till they are warm. Alternatively, heat them on a hot pan and then put them in a cloth. Foment the babies tummy and chest with this. You could also grind them to a paste with water and then heat the paste and use it for fomentation. Always remember to test the temperature on the back of your palm before you apply it to the baby's skin!

We tried all these until we felt any one of them was working and then we just stuck to that one remedy for that time.

Hope this brings releif to some of you!

Your suggestions and experiences are welcome.

Hello!

My baby girl was born on 29th November 2005. She weighed 2.9 Kgs, was 19 inches long and had a mop of curly hair.

I delivered her through an emergency c-section because of a face presentation.

This blog is an attempt to share what I learn through my experiences with other mothers who may feel as much at sea as I feel!!